对不起，我想你。回忆 。

今天，盈借了我一本小说，《对不起，我想你》by橘子。
其实，是被封面的大纲吸引到的 。


大纲是这样的 :

有很長的一段時間，我不能翻閱我們的照片，因為我不想哭，對著照片掉眼淚並不適合我。
有很長的一段時間，我沒有辦法去到我們曾經去過的場所，因為回憶太擠，而當眾嚎啕大哭會讓我看起來很神經。
有很長一段時間，我不能夠說出你的名字，連聽也不能聽的那種不能夠，因為我知道我會哭，未語而淚先流，這句話只適合我寫，而不適合我做。
可是我其實一直在哭，在心裡哭。
我不知道幹什麼我要這樣，人前歡笑人後落淚，我只知道你對我而言不太一樣，不，是很不一樣。

还蛮想10个月前的我 ，想起当时的我，还蛮白痴的。想到都觉得超好笑，那是应该把勤给吓坏了吧~ 呵呵。 回想起那感觉，还蛮清晰的，可是...我已经不会再因为想起而流泪了，反而还会想对他说声，谢谢你 :) 不是他，我都不会醒。虽然，醒下睡下的 ，可是 很庆幸的是，最终，我还是醒了:D 现在的我，得空时，还会去看看我们的blog,我们那张唯一的合照，还有一些‘我们’的东西。看回，都会觉得当时的我们很天真很白痴耶~ 令我当时觉得很开心的句子，现在看回总觉得荒唐，无聊。哈哈。也很久没跟他联络了咯，不知道如果有一天看到他跟她要怎样呢?这句话，问过勤，那时我是哭到很惨很惨得问勤，勤回了我一句超好的答案。想必这句话是他对我说过最棒的一句吧。哈哈 ‘你现在不要去想这个，最重要的是要在你看到这一切之前把他给忘了，那你看到他们都不会怎样了。’是不是很有意思叻?或许你们不觉得吧，可是，对那时快疯了的我来说，这句话真的超有用的。真的唤醒我了。thanks, lynn ~

Ky.yan

i don't need a boyfriend, do i?

sucks.


peopleee,
i feel like slapping myself right now. what i think is true or it's just my imagination? i hope it's true but at the same time i just hope whatever appears in my mind just my imagination. i love my life right now. single = simple,right? i know, u do think so since u always said so too. whenever talk about this topic, sure we have the same view of light. but, do u really think so or..? omgg, why am i caring this? sucks. ky,ky,ky !!!! family,friends,study,work,play.. these are the things that u need. the only things u need as a form4 student. u know? u need not a boyfriend. okay? wake !!

weird?
Ky.yan

18sx

guys,
was damn tired.


today, many funny stuffs happened. haha. the worst was, i saw 2 people...haha. 18sx. -.-
to both of u, really sorry that i saw it. the whole incident go like this ~ emm, went to studio at 3pm today, since only 3 of us and i feel tired, so went out there to have a nap. when i sit down on the chair, stare out through the door(it's transparent). saw something moving...see clearer ~ omgggg !!! faster run in and close the door..don't disturb people la ~ haha. then the two 'geh bo' keep on asking what happen and went out to see. the stupid Wei go and open the door and scared them -.- what the dut. but anyway, it's quite 尴尬 since we know the pair of couple -.- please, that consider a public place although quite inside la -.- hahahaha..1st time saw this kind of stuff -.-

sorry ~haha
Ky. yan

JFC left K :(

this morning while i am tiding my hair, was damn suffer. very hot and feel like vomiting and headache. walao, damn suffer. all the way to school also damn headache. after that, JFC absent today. initially was thinking sure i will be damn boring during the assembly. but actually not really boring,just as usual ~ feel like scolding 3 of them lorr, absent also didn't tell. since i didn't bring my phone to school today, can't text them. anyway, they must be tired/overslept/practice keyboard for the concert or other stuff.. fortunately assembly not so boring,if not..herher, three of u sure kena dut :DDD many stuff wanna share with u all lehh, tmr come a !! this is an order !

7th Oct. 1st day of final examination. CHEMISTRY paper 3. sucks. good news was this exam does not involve chapter 8 (salt). hehe.

let's have a nap,
Ky. yan

Happy Birthday, dears.

today was my off day :)


planned to study. but as usual. i just wasted all my times. well ~ im cure-less.
today was my lovely sis's 22nd birthday :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY, na na ~~ early in the morning, awake by her. keep on disturb me and say damn hungry -.- 9am + only lorr.. but i only wake at 10am. haha, really very tired la ~ we went to the restaurant behind Brem Mall for DIM SUM breakfast :)) the prawn dumpling, so nice ~ but something happened, made this morning doesn't goes what we expected.well, not going to post out what happened as it was someone's privacy ~ i cried. i didn't cry like that for some times already. tears keep on falling, actually wanna date Mr.lynn out for tea and say out everything since she's off today too, but..i just worry my brain can't control my tears and scared the others. -.- whatever ~ learning to be stronger !!!

girl, we love u just like the past. whatever we said is just for your own good. everyone was holding the key of their life. only u can control ur life, u're the master of ur life not others. think rationally as u already knew the truth and i believe, what u know were surely more than what we know. i really can't understand what are u thinking. anyway, we love u the most, and the love will last FOREVER.

happy birthday,
Gina and hai feng ;)
Ky. yan

work 2

peopleee,


i am so tired, tired n tired. besides tired, is still tired :( but i know, later when i reach there i will be very full of energy. just like yesterday night :) yesterday finished work at 12:30. reach home play spot the different with my parents and cook supper for them. :) then sleep at 3am -.- that's why i feel so tired now :( yesterday was clouded. i learnt how to make few more beverage yesterday too :) Apple yo-fruit. haha. the colour very nice, i think Faye will like it. cause it really nice :D yesterday, i served a table of 3 20+s girl. wasai, feel like slapping them. kns. i really don't know why that time i can serve them with my 'sweet' smile. -.- ya, i know, customer is ALWAYS right. another table of seafood. kns. smoke there. don't know what cigarette. damn smelly. and take so long time to order. the stupid smelly smell made me feel damn headache. okay la, need to go already lorr ~ got to prepare for work already. today i work from 12:30 - 6pm. come over for tea ba ~ :D

good luck,
Ky. yan

outgoing 1

heyy :)


here im :) ytday went out with Faye and Yz. went for bowling n also steamboat !!! B U F F E T !!! haha. the happiest stuff was... i am the winner for the bowling games :) i won 4 games but lost the last game :( the Yz a, won the last game. haha. after bowling, go to toilet. omgggg... the scariest thing happened -.- 1st time feel such feeling. it's hard to describe. but i swear, that moment was damn damn damn scary ! my heart almost jump out. sucks. drag Faye and run -.- after that still scolded by them -.- say that i scared them T.T is the situation n Faye's 'yerr' scared me lehh =(

scary + full day,
ky.yan

1st working day :)

peopleee...


finally i can online :D
just finish my supper. today was the 1st day of work. hmmm, not bad. but afternoon section was damn boring la. stand there and chit chat with Wei nia.. now left knee damn pain. learnt quite a lot of things actually. guyss, come over for tea, haha. make milk tea for u all :)) know who is my 1st customer? hui deng's sisters. haha. aiya. i forgot who is the one that drink the 1st cup of milk tea that i made lehh. shit ! my 1st ~ :DD


got to sleep la. tired.

bye.

Ky. yan

going mad !

ishhhh !!


can't sleep well last night ! damn it...
what the hell. it's so unbelievable man!!! omggg.. headache again n again. dream the same thing for 2 nights. it's so true, real. u know, whenever i waked by my phone, i can continue the same 'sweet' dream. omggg... did u dream the same dream too ?! i hope not.. just stop this kind of stupid idiot stuff !!!! it's impossible !!!! it's the answer i gave u few months ago right???? and why now.. shit !!!!! i just hope what Faye said to me were totally not the truth ! I'm not missing him -.- no no no !!!! i need to concentrate in my study now, so that i have the time to work. so, U !!! get out of my mind right now. aiks, but why.. after u wrote everything like this, and my inner sound telling me that... he not bad too what. omg !! ya, u're smart, and good in many things.. but... i have my reason lorr !! damn it.. out u go !!!!

everything will be under control after this moment ! sure ! i will stop those stupid idiot stuff appears in my mind again ~~~~~

frustrated,
Ky. yan

lets jog ~ 2

guys, a bad news here.


the jogging plan canceled. since some reason(s). well ~ is damn disappointed actually. not willing to tell the whole story as i've speak to someone. mmm, just listen to what Yz said la. thanks Yz. although text with u were damn expensive but... it's worth to see those texts ~ i means, consoling me or maybe u were not consoling me but just telling the truth/fact. but anyway, thank a lots :)

cheer,
ky

JKFC outgoing :D

yeeepppppiii :D


Friday no school. so, i approved myself and some other friends to have 1 more extra holidays for tmr. haha. used to it la ~ always skip classes. ooppps, i think i promised myself not to absence to school anymore right? but nevermind la, as Thursday's classes were lame. only bm was the period that we're learning. haha.

waiting for tomorrow. excited. four of us go to F.R.I for a morning jog. J.K.F.C.. hmm, long time didnt hang out together already. i mean, all presence. haha. happy :)) and also was the 1st time that we date each other for jog. must be fun :) already asked Faye to charge her phone. :D it's actually plan for 4 mulia outgoing one. those people a, aiks. dunwan say them already la ~ all pro in putting people aeroplane nia~ haha. the funniest was the Hing. cikgu pengiring. haha. having fun in class :D anyway, it's glad to change it to JKFC outgoing. i think much sakai things we will do. but... a bit dare not to snap photo after listening what Kuan said. aiyerrr ~

let's jog ~

happy goes lucky :D
Ky. yan

undescribable ♥

heyyyy :)))


was a successful and memorable day actually :D
my bloggerrr, i have a happy secret to share, but it's just not the time :( i've promised someone to keep it as secret. but i may unveil the truth if....:D

went for practice, and finally.. we can dance for the whole song already :D great job, guys ! before going, still considering wanna go or continue my afternoon nap. luckily i didn't listen to my lazy's cells :D since i have learnt many steps and of course i know the 'secret'. haha. sshhhhh... actually i knew a bit before u voice out , but don't know why when u voice out... i laugh like hell -.- kinda mem-per-xia-sui-kan -.- HAHAHA .. the serious face of urs and the situation made me feel like... haha` maybe this was the 1st time i know the 'truth' like this, that's why it made me laugh like this ~ whatever, it's just damn funny. haha. and u know what? this was the 1st time i doesn't feel scare when i know the truth :D im a big big girl, in a big big world ~
no DIGI allowed la, x-pensive !



ohyaaa, today..B teaches me handstand too :D still not enough energy to push myself up. damn pain la my hand -.- mmm, suddenly Yz's elbow appears on my mind --
was wondering what Mr.lynn's reaction when 'he' saw this article or when i tell 'him' tmr. haha. sure 'he' will say: " u break ur hand la. hahahaha" --

bed time :)
Ky. yan

Dandelion.

Hang, all the best to u. just feel that what both of u facing were definitely same as what he and me facing that time. what i told u in just now, really hope that u think about it. while chatting, my tears drop. don't know what the hell had happened to my tears. many things appears in my mind. haha. siao~ just all the best to u, my dear ~ wait for ur answer and i will always support u !!! dear Hang :)

lots of support n love,
Ky. yan

life

May our life paint with colours. life is short. appreciate what we have now, especially peoples around u :) family and friends.

suck dinner.

moody.


went for a dinner. worst dinner i never attend before ! i swear, no next time. no wonder my brother choose not to attend. suck. food were suck. okay, well, this doesn't the major matter, the most irritating stuff was the MC. make me feel like grabbing their mic and scold them. damn noisy and talk nonsense. luckily, someone texted me. thanks a lot. saving my life. and tomorrow got to climb up early in the morning and i think i can't fall asleep tonight since i took a nap this afternoon. and the truth is, i doesn't touch my books although i said i wanna study. well, quite used to my attitude.

in a bad mood,
Ky. yan

untitled.

爱情，好像流沙。我不挣扎 ~


suddenly wanna blog. damn boring. mmmm, what to talk?``` omggg, my knee.. blue black. :( this is the 1st visible hurt caused by practicing. ya ! this is what i want ! haha, sound like siao lang huh? no, it's actually, i really try my very best to learn dance nowadays. i need to be good in something else. study, i know i can't. music, mmm..forget about it. dance, is the only choice. :) today learnt some breaking skill. haha. the same thing i got to say to u'all. sorry :)) im a slow learner. promised, will practice and show the result to u'all on the coming days :)) hehe. thanks a lot, guys :D


oh ya, today was odie's 16th birthday :) got a kiss from her -.- haha. a very surprise kiss from her~ mmm, sound weird right?her birthday, i got a surprise kiss from her -.- anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, girl. and be happy. muuuuackksss.

bored,
Ky. yan

I'm Pre - sweet 16 :DD

:DDDDD



weekends again :))
today no chemistry class, yahuuuu ~ i have time to sleep. i really need rest. i want to SLEEP !! those stuff around my eye getting more and moreeee, so, i really need sleep ! and today what my darling said hurt me so much :(((( i need skin care and rest ~ haha. few days before, pour each n everyone of my photo sticker out. wow, i look so old now. sad. i need to appreciate what i have now. haha. I'm still YOUNG !! I'm still in my pre-sweet 16 !!! peopleeee, is 'pre'.. see, i so young :DD

i need a scanner !
really,
perasan'ing,
Ky . yan

still JAY :DDD

hold ur breathe ~ because tonight will be the night that i will fall for u, over again, don't make me change my mind, or i won't live to see another day, i swear it's true, because a girl like u is impossible find ~ u're impossible to find. :D



listening to the song ~ la la la ~ downloaded many old songs. long time didn't listen to those song. it's still sound nice ~ especially my Jay's song :DDD 我想要的想做的，你比谁都了，你想说的想给的，我全都知道，未接来电没留言，一定是你孤单的想念，任何人都猜不到，这是我们的暗号 ~ lovin' it :) Jay's song. whenever listen to Jay's song, many sweet memories appears in my mind. just like this song ~ muuuuackssss :DDDDDD

got to go,
continue with my song,
bye :D

Ky.yan

day full of work.

bloggerrrrr :(



today, was a bad day and also actually a busy day for me. many homework need to hang in. keep copy n copy. it almost finished half of my ink especially the karangan. damn tired. just back from studio. actually planned not to go today since i have so many works to 'do' but.. aiks. i really need more practice to make it better. so, i choose to go. luckily work almost done now and i also finally did few completely correct wave. :D i know i can do it :) of course got to thank them la, teach me so patiently. paiseh :( kay la, that's all for today. need to continue with my research n work too :D



same thing,
good luck to Jo and Vin :D

love always,
Ky. yan

plan spoilt.

peopleeee....


my plan spoilt. spoilt spoilt spoilt. pity ky. aiks. but never mind la. hehe. today, i woke around 12. then my mum ask me to accompany her go to my aunt's house by ktm as my uncle was suffering from...gastric?or gall bladder problem? haven't confirm actually. so... well, since im a good daughter, sure i will accompany my mum la..:D but my 2 karangan, math revision and add math works...bye. i can't do them at all. and now, i got the time for add math but...my exercise book left 1 page -.-


anyway, peopleee. please wish my girl, Josymm all the best in her UPSR exam :D and Calvin boy too :D * u think u can, u can!

love always,
Ky. yan

FD 4

FINAL DESTINATION 4 ~

im coming :D i wanna watch it !!! right now !!! willing to watch 3-D. haha. but my friend said that 3-D cost RM45. wow.. must be damn shock. haha. actually was quite scare to watch it. but just a very strong feeling made me wanna watch it. when i wathc FD 3 in the cinema with my sister, both of us scream like hell -.-'' haha. hope that im getting braver than that time :D

coming,
Ky . yan

day start with nice song n mood :D

heal the world ~ make it a better place, for u and for me and the entire human race ~ there are people dying ~ if u care enough for the living,make it a better place for u and for me :)




poepleeee :D

a very good morning to everyone, ^^. wow, this symbol.. feel so familiar but strange ~ lols. long time didn't use it. just woke up. awaken by a song -.- the song goes like this .... [p-p-p-poker face~ mum mum mum mah,p-p-p-poker face ~ mum mum mum mah...] omgggg... damn loud. just like putting a speaker next to me.. since im awaken by such nice song,well... mood doesn't affected lols. damn high ~ let's dance ~ haha. the one who play this music so loud was my DAD -.- since when he became so up-to-date. i really don't know. and ask me to on the song by Flo Rida - Right round. omggg..



*you spin my head right round,right round, when u go down, when u go down down ~ haha.

love,
Ky. yan

untitled.

爱要耐心等待，仔细寻找，感觉很重要。宁可空白了手，等待一次真心的拥抱。 :D



was about to write something. but i still got a lot of works to do. my to-do list was almost full. my school work, house work and so many other things. do i have enough time? i think i can do it ! fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run. :)



today, im absent again :( i woke up late. well, feel that im getting worse. again i need to write a letter to my teacher. i think this will be the 6th letter i've wrote. my attendance for my form 4 must be suck. i promised myself i won't allow the same thing happen in my form 5 life anymore. cause my result are getting worse too. my attitude towards study was getting worse and also getting lazier. works not done, whatever learnt in school and tuition will just forgot after the class. it's time to work hard for my SPM, or should i say for my form 4 year-end examination? i just can't imagine my result for the year-end exam. the March test for form 4, i didn't really study and gave myself a reason - i don't know the format that the Questions ask. so i don't know what to study. then? the mid-term exam - aiks. not enough time tim ~ nvm, i must work hard for my July test. just read whatever i can read. and what reason i gave for the July test? - aiks. test only ma. lets work hard only for the year-end examination. omggggg... it's time to wake !!!

was setting my alarm clock.
Ky. yan

the poem - IF

hey guys :)


today, my english teacher,Mr.Malek taught us the poem named - IF.i love this poem a lot. since Kumar ( my tuition english teacher ) has discuss this with us, i feel that..i really got to learn the moral values from this poem :) but, i haven't -.- i hope i will learn it soon. lols. here is the poem :) i love it so much. and today's english period is the 1st time of english period that I'm behaving so active. haha.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' * i think i got to learn this to improve my locking + poppin skill :(

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends CAN hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

I've highlighted those sentences that i feel that, it's really true and i got to learn the moral value. Besides that, when Mr.Malek discuss the sentence - Neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you. Maybe is because i nod my head damn obvious or what ~ haha. he asked me, am i experience that before, which means have i experienced hurt by loving friends before. lols. i think teacher forgot the essay that i wrote for the mid-term examination. hmmm, ya, definitely foes will hurt us ~ but friends. why should friends hurt us? teacher explained so : the people that we loved the most is the people that we hurt the most. hmmm, actually i don't really agree with it. and those example that he gave it's quite... rotten haha.. shhhh...