复杂的一天

很想马上倒在床上大睡到明天，我不想醒着。我知道我在逃避，可是，我除了暂时逃避，我还能怎样? 我真的有点累了，越来越觉得，其实自己并没有很好。之前都高估自己了。原来，一切都是假的美好。原来自己是那么不会handle问题。原来自己是那么的依赖他们。原来，原来，原来。原来我并不是自己想象中的坚强。我很想证明很多很多，更多更多，我以为我能。我相信我能。可是，我开始质疑了。我开始否定我自己。对，我很会鼓励别人，很会分析道理，当朋友down时，我都能开解他们，给他们solution。可是，当自己down时我却帮不到自己。


我变了。我不知道是好是坏。我只知道我变得越来越现实，实际。可能是看到了社会的残酷，可能是见识多了，知道了，之前的我根本不能再未来的社会里立足。哭泣，太懦弱了。好像，很久没有哭了。是因为知道了哭泣改变不了事实所以不哭还是我变坚强了?我也不知道。


可是，今早，我确确实实哭了。当眼泪滑下我傻了，我也很惊讶，真的。我既然哭了，而且还是为了那件事情。在眼泪滑下的那刻之前，我都以为自己不在乎。可是，当我真的哭了，我才发觉，原来我很在乎。只是自己也不知道。可是，我真的不知道这会是好的开始还是坏的。该继续，还是停止。我真的不知道。怎么办。。。


怎么办怎么办怎么办，很无助。真的很无助。我简直就是没有任何的感觉。伤心?担心?失望?绝望?好像什么都不是，就只是很down很无奈。我坚持的，是对的吗?值得吗?

Nearer :)

成绩放榜了。


知道了成绩放榜时，并没能立刻马上上网看成绩。
回到家，一上网，skype的灯就不停的闪，朋友不停的问。
那感觉，真的很恐怖。很想找个人陪，可是却害怕自己的成绩没有自己想象中的好。
想跟家人一起看，可是，我更怕。因为，我知道他们对我期望很高。如果，我失败的话，他们会比我更加的失望。


像我所说的，看成绩前，我就答应好自己无论是好是坏，都要倘然接受，因为那已是一个不变的事实。那也是我的成绩，无论我留多少泪，那还是我的战绩。

看到了，我的grades的时候，我怕了。心想一定是没有了，因为需要全部A才能保持，而我却没有。我失望了。当时，我真的一位就这样，我emo了。我在想再怎么跟家人交代，怎么跟自己交代。当我scroll 下一点点时，我才发觉，越来下面有下cpga == 原来我办到了! 我真的很开心，很开心很开心。可是，那开心只有短短的几分钟。当朋友不停的问时，我厌倦了，因为他们又在比较。也知道有些朋友考得并不是很好，心情也有点沉重了。我了解，我明白那感受，因为我刚还没看到cpga时也真的以为自己maintain 不到。无论如何，成绩是好是坏已成定局。现在该做的事是Sem2要更加努力，成绩不好不要逃避，找更好的读书方式，考好的更不要骄傲! Daddy, Mummy, Jie n Gor !! Thanks for the support and love. I can't do it without anyone of you. I will do my best to keep my promise, I will not disappoint you all. Love u guys! 

下贱!

学会自爱，才爱别人。

不懂得自爱的人，没资格爱别人，更不要在那里跟我谈情说爱!


自己都不懂得爱自己，凭什么要别人爱你? 凭什么爱别人? 凭什么在这里跟我说尊严?! 你有吗?!


不要有问题发生的时候，就把矛头指向别人! 想下为什么会这样，是不是自己也有什么问题。小姐! 为什么别人会这样对你? 不见别人这样对其他人? 就是因为你自己不懂的保护自己，爱护自己，尊重自己，所以别人才不尊重你!

有样又怎样? 不懂得爱护自己，一样是贱货一件! 对不起，我不喜欢用那么难听的字眼，可是，我真的找不到任何一个词比贱货更适合你的了! 不要令我那么讨厌你好吗? 我很累。小妹，真希望你有改过自新的一天。可是，同时也害怕当你改过自新后，想回自己之前的无知，承受不了而自杀! 可恶! 明明自己就是恶魔，还要装天使。怎么这世界上会有那么讨厌的人啊? 哇靠! 我真的很讨厌你们! 你们! 同时，我也很感谢你们! 因为你们，我才有今天的我! 因为你们的所作所为，我才要撑下去! 证明给你们这些狗眼看人低的家伙看! 你们就尽管欺负他们吧，我会让你们后悔! 我说到就做到!我要做的事情，我一定做到!就像我能争取到我今天拥有的一切。 我就是喜欢看你们那无奈，不甘的样子!那一天，那一刻，那一秒，我永远不会忘记! 你们那惊讶，无言，无奈，不甘的样子，就是我最大的收获! 我说过，不要看小我，不要惹我，更加不要欺负我的家人! 继续过分吧，如果这样你会开心，就继续吧，我并不会阻止你，因为这才是我继续奋斗的动力! 不好意思，我不懂得用像你们用的那种低贱的手法去伤害别人，损人不利己。我比较喜欢双赢，不但能帮到自己，也能赢去你们的不甘同时那妒忌的眼神!尽管是那么一秒钟的嫉妒，我也要! 因为，我真的很讨厌很讨厌你们! 这是一个不变的事实!

原谅他人就是善待自己。妈妈常这样跟我说。我非常认同这句话，所以我很少讨厌别人。可是，至于你们，为什么我不能原谅你们? 因为你们在我眼里根本不是人! 就那么简单。

I can !

Hi, Sem-breaking . haha


Refresh back days I was studying for my final. It was really crazy. I wonder how could I do it? Locked in the room, sit there and study for 12 hours. OMG! But, its not surprise that I have gained 4kgs during this final exam. Honestly! I have gained 4kgs ! Ishhhh. Im super duper upset, and was trying my best to exercise and burn all the 4kgs FATS ! Since I couldn't control my food intake so I have to increase my FATS output, HAHA.


During the period where I am fighting for my final, the only thing that motivate me, and give me the energy and strength to study for 12 hours was SCHOLARSHIP. For me, score = money. Every single marks means a lot to me since I have started my uni life, because even Im lack of 0.01, it will cause me to pay RM3000+. And sorry to say that, I will not pay for it! Get off ! I COULD MAINTAIN my SCHOLARSHIP!

Although, facing the notes was tiring and toturing of course. but the mindset of us must be a very right one. Result will be release very soon, and I know many people will get result that they're expected and of course some will get unexpected result both good and bad one. But please, accept it with a open heart. Every single hard work will pay us back with our result. Our result is equivalent to our commitment. Even though, you cant get a result that you aim for, don't feel upset, don't darken your day. Promise yourself before u check the result, no matter the result was good or bad, allow yourself to spend only 2hours maximum to be proud/ sad of it. After that, back to ur real life! Good result means that, you need to continue the same effort in sem2 in order to maintain ur result. Bad result means that, the study method of u wasn't right, and think of another way or work harder ! :)

yes, we will all encounter moments in our lives that we just want to give up. Everything is just against us and we don't know how much more that we could take. I must confess that the road of perfectness and greatness is a difficult one! The hardship encountered along the way are what will test our resolve and make us great! So, whenever you're down and disappoint, don't give up! Tell yourself, I will survive, I will overcome, I will succeed! I can!

SAY NO TO FATS !

我要瘦 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*Law of Attraction*

我很瘦。我很瘦。我很瘦。我很瘦!!!! LOLLL.

比较

比较。



其实，在这个社会里，我们每天都在比较。
走这条路比较近，
这比较便宜
这比较快
这比较美
这比较好吃
这比较好喝
这比较难
这比较简单
这比较舒服
这比较厉害
等等等...

仔细想想，这些话是不是都占了我们日常的话语的一大部分? 其实，比较并不是不好。还是那句，就看你的观点是怎样。如果，今天比较会带来的是动力，激励..那尽管去比较吧。而我，从来都不喜欢比较成绩。真的。因为，在我们学生的生涯，为的不就是成绩吗?成绩就代表了一切，不是吗? 所以，成绩是敏感的issue, I seldom touch it. LOL. 一山还比一山高，我们要怎样去跟别人比较? 不要把自己逼得那么辛苦好吗? 明明生活就很简单。

今天，我们的coursework result都贴出来了。大家都在讨论着。自然而然的，听到朋友们在比较。as usual, 偷偷溜掉。因为，我很怕。真的怕他们问我的成绩。我不知道要怎样给他们反应。怕他们会误会。所以，逃跑！是最好不过的方式！哈哈哈。时间快到了，我走过去拿书包，听到朋友们说“好啦好啦，不要比较了”。
其实，真的很想跟你们说，不要跟别人比较。尤其是身边的朋友，因为这样久而久之会影响友谊。只跟自己比，好吗?这次那9分，下次至少都要拿个9分，这样就算对得起自己了。别人拿10分，替他们感到开心罢了。把他们的分数当成动力。问问自己，为什么我们上同样的课，做同样的练习可是他却那么高分，我却这样。是不是自己哪里有问题。这才是比较真正的定义。而不是，比较了，然后自己一个人emo觉得自己笨自己没有用。

人，往往最大的敌人就是自己。所以，为什么要跟别人比?跟自己比就好了。赢了自己，就等于战胜了最大的敌人。


要考试的朋友~ 我们能的! 每个人都有自己的目标。有的2.0，有的3.0，有的3.5，有的4.0。别人做到，我们也能。加油! 不要被coursework的分数打败自信。:)

把压力放进冰箱，把它转化成“冻”力吧! 加油加油!

离家出走

离家出走 - 叮当

也就是我blog的歌。这首歌，还蛮适合我的。真的。就像我想对家人说的。


温室的花朵 看不到天空
世界有风雨 才会有彩虹
爱能保护我 却也绑著我
把我还给我 把心变自由
让自己飞过 也追过 也痛过才算活过
你爱我 就让我和我的命运去交手


________________________________

Final is around the corner.


4.0 or not? I'll fight for it!

Dad, Mum, Jie, Gor, I will do my best! No worry!
Dad, sorry for against-ing u recently. Please allow me to go where I wanted to go. I don't allow my life to have regrets. I know its the life I want, I see what I want.


前几天，妈妈跟我说，她一天都不见到我10分钟，即使是在同一屋檐下。听了，心真的很酸。爸妈，对不起，谢谢你们。真的。突然觉得自己很不孝。是我不好，不懂得如何分配好自己的时间。读书，又比别人笨，需要花多一倍的时间明白。所以往往时间都用在读书。
其实，你们希望的是我好好读书，拿文凭，找份好工作，安安稳稳的过生活。
可是，我希望的是，好好读书，拿文凭，找份好工作，让你们好好的享福。你们就是我的动力。没有你们，就不会有我。谢谢你们的牺牲，是值得的。还是那句，给我时间。

Today My life begin :)

Recently I have fall for a song which charge up me when I was helpless, disappointed or down.
Today my life begin - Bruno Marz. Friend around me should knw that, Im strongly recommending this song recently. HAHA.



The lyrics was awesome.
I've been working hard so long
Seems like pain has been my only friend
My fragile heart's been done so wrong
I wondered if I'd ever heal again

Ohh just like all the seasons never stay the same
All around me I can feel a change (ohh)

I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me
Leave the past behind me, today my life begins
A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the takin'
I know I can make it, today my life begins

Yesterday has come and gone
And I've learnt how to leave it where it is
And I see that I was wrong
For ever doubting I could win

Ohh just like all the seasons never stay the same
All around me I can feel a change (ohh)

I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me
Leave the past behind me, today my life begins
A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the takin
I know I can make it, today my life begins

Life's too short to have regrets
So I'm learning now to leave it in the past and try to forget
Only have one life to live
So you better make the best of it

I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me
Leave the past behind me, today my life begins
A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the takin
I know I can make it, today my life begins

I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me
Leave the past behind me, today my life begins
A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the takin
I know I can make it, today my life begins
Today my life begins...

Genting trip

17/8/2011 - 18/8/2011


T10 2D1N GENTING TRIP.

more pictures, just to simply click into my facebook profile will do.


Ya, awesome days spending with them. Without a doubt, gap and relation between all of us become closer after this trip. Although there're some disagreement and so call bek-cek thingy happened, but we used to overcome it. And this have made us know each other deeper.

Here to share something, what I've learned from this trip.
A game we played at night. It's not a horror game but it's super scary. This kind of thing is the most scary stuff in the world. The real side of human. Its always 10000000times scarier than ghost, insects, etc. Okay, the game is about 心机..everyone will have to choose a card, whereby the card indicate that whether you're a wolf (killer), witch(heal / kill), little girl(spy) or villager(normal). at the end of the game, villagers must kill all the wolf while witch and the little girl will help the villager. so, some which is wolf will pretend that they're villager and try to convince them to kill their own villager. The scariest part of the game is that, when u see how someone pretend infront of other but at the back actually she/he is a killer. especially, when he/she is the one who trust a lot. I don't know whether am I trust someone easily or what. It just made me feel really very very scare, when the real identity of your friend reveal. In real life, i dont think he/ she was such a person. but from this game, i knew. really. That's why, half way, I quit this game. Because, I cant stand it anymore. 人的真面目比任何东西都来得可怕。

我真正的领悟到“人不可貌相”。可能，我真的是像T10们说的那么单纯和笨吧。对我来说，这是很大很大的缺点。太容易相信一个人。

result

Hey, blogger! Here I am :)

Ya, can u still recognise me? with my extreme dark eye circle. Ya, Ky here ! hehe.


This week was a busy week too. 2  tests, presentation, 2 full reports. and know what? I have done both of the full reports by today! HOHOHOHO! Ya, i admit, i didnt put as much care + effort on it as I did previously. So, maybe will get lower mark la. ><

Ya, here's my result for my tests.hehe. Actually, Im really satisfy with my result. So, everything is worth!

Test 1
Mechanics : 36/50
Chem : 42.5/45
Maths : 14/35
CT : 26/30
Bio : 9/10


Test 2
Bio : 8/10
Maths : 25/30


Seriously, Im really happy with my result. This is really an unexpected result for me. Really thanks to everyone who have taught me and share their understanding with me. Really, Thanks a lots! Serene, Vincent, WeeChin, JC, KingHeng, ChanWei, etc ! Thanks!! Love u guys! ;)

CT and Chem, I was the highest among our group member. Honestly, Im really shocked, I bet you all will feel shock too la. This stupid Ky will get the highest mark == Anyway, for CT, I really gonna thanks WeeChin and especially KingHeng! OMG. I really dare not to refresh back the day, the half an hour before CT paper. I have forgotten everything single thing. >< Thanks KingHeng's companion and helps! Thanks guys. :)